Kings and Queens!How are you guys doing? Honestly, I know you won't answer that while you are reading, but it was worth a try ( laugh a little bit, stop being so serious HAHAHA). Before I start, I do want to make sure that everyone who reads this knows that I care and love them dearly. If you are reading this you are either being supportive, or being nosey. Either way is okay, cause it doesn't lessen how much I love you. I am open to talk to any and everyone concerning anything if I am needed. I understand that people's mental health is taking a toll, because of the pandemic. If you ever need to vent, or just have some company, find a way to contact me. I’m fairly responsive!
Anyway, let's get into the blog! Throughout my life I have played basketball, and one of the things I learned is that a lot of what you learn or pick up from sports can be applied to real life. My dad always told me that basketball was and is more than a sport, but it wasn't until I got older where I realized the truth behind those words. There are mini lessons, that are sort of like revelation that you can look and say, "oh I can do this in real life too" or "that sounded really good". Either way you can apply it and it is one of God's many ways of communicating to me. Lately, I have been going through comparison and jealousy in a lot of areas in my life. Without going on and on about my problems, the CliffNote version would be to tell you that I feel as though all of my friends are doing so much better than I am. I feel like I am an anchor to my friends, instead of being a paddle projecting them into their future. Instead, I am always the one getting help, the one with the least income, the one who is the skinniest, etc. My insecurities were and sometimes still do ring louder than what I know I could be doing to change that. Let me address that as well. Just because you know you can change why you are feeling something, does not mean you have the strength to do so by yourself. In this example, I would feel my many emotions and feel immobilized by the overwhelming feelings of what I was feeling. We will discuss the resolution to those problems, once I figure it out. One of the things I pride myself on, is that if I know the answer to something, so do 10 other people and some. I do not keep solutions to myself. While processing those emotions, and talking them out to my pastor, friends (in ministry and in the world),and best-friends, they affirmed who I am, what I am called to do, and overall was trying to make me feel better and grounded. As much as it helped, I needed something else to settle me. One day I was at practice, and my coach, Miles Smith, went on his occasional lesson rant to the team. During all the yelling and fussing he said something that I have been hearing all my life, but the sound projected way louder to me this time. Simple words: "Do what you do well". We have programed ourselves, whether it be through the media, celebrities, or our everyday friend groups to compare us to them. We have done so much observing and watching of other people that we sometimes forget who we are. One of the problems that I have with my generation, including myself is that we never have a firm identity, and have a slight case of personality disorder. We find something in someone that we like and try to replicate it. In no way am I saying that’s a bad thing, because in all reality, that is how personality is formed. However, God has already ordained your personality, in Him you have your being. He’s designed you with strengths and weaknesses. Accept them for what they are and work with them. There is a lot of things that we need in the world, and you and your name is one of them! Do what you do and do it well! Be you well! -DLA
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I hope that all of you are staying safe while staying sane in the chaotic times that we are living in! I will reiterate from my podcast, if you do not have a hobby or something to do that will ease your mental and emotional state, FIND ONE NOW. Your mental health matters, just as much as you care about material things!
Let’s get into the gig. One of the things I am learning and understanding for myself, and seeing in other people’s life is this comparison is very strong when identity is weak. I do not care how much of a strong willed person you think you are, you have faced comparison in some area of your life. Even the strongest bodybuilders look to others that they look up to and compare themselves. No one is exempt from experiencing comparison. It is the matter of being able to look and identify what you want without failing into the trap of “if I could just”. “If I could just look like ____” “If I could be like ____” Let me blast that ideology of a perfect ‘Freaky Friday’ situation into smithereens real fast: YOU ARE NOT THEM THEY ARE NOT YOU Grasp the concept that God made you in his image and his likeness, pushing your identity and personality off in exchange for another is one of the biggest insults to the God that created you. It is one thing to see someone and locate traits of theirs that you want to have whether it be personality or physical traits, but it’s another thing to snare your own esteem while doing it. Live by the moral, “see, but don’t touch”. The second you go to touch the very thing that caught your eye, it may ensnare you for the rest of your life pushing people, places, and opportunities away from you! Somethings are just not made for you! Be okay with that! Time gives you the space and opportunity to think. This is normally where over-thinkers are birthed at. They normally have had a lot of time to think about something and instead of having healthy methods to get something off of their mind, they tend to think of every outcome, possibility, and reason. Hence why, I believe without a shadow of a doubt that some over-thinkers can and should be classified as schizophrenic. Why? When you overthink you tend to over-analyze, and when you do that you go into that very thing you were thinking about not yourself. A different personality comes out and a mask goes up to try to prevent what you were thinking about from coming to reality. It’s called schizophrenia, STOP IT! Yes, there will be times where people won’t accept you. Yes, there will be times where you want to beat yourself up for not doing certain activities because you just “aren’t like that”. Yes, the need of switching who you are every season is VALID. You are allowed to feel what you feel concerning yourself, but DO NOT COMPROMISE WHO YOU ARE TO GIVE YOUR INSECURITIES TEMPORARY PLEASURE! The main reason you don’t feel comfortable in who you are is because somewhere along the line, someone told you,you weren’t enough of something. You aren’t _______ enough. Strong, pretty, handsome, tall, short, anointed, talented. Whatever that blank space may be for you, listed or not, it doesn’t matter, because you ARE that. Just because you did not meet the societal standard of a thing doesn’t mean you still aren’t that. Personally, I have always struggled with being muscular enough or being handsome enough. Those things ate at me, to the point where I started to not even look at a mirror while getting dressed. I stopped taking selfies, and I didn’t even want to be seen in pictures. I would always cover up my body and even on beaches where an undershirt. Now, I still struggling with the body image situation, but I’m not where I used to be. (By the way, please celebrate your small victories as much as you do the large ones, it’ll sustain your joy). What I was struggling with was forcing me to rehearse what the naysayers said to me. It was like it was on repeat on my head on loop. COME OUT OF THAT, fight those thoughts with the words of God. Speak those promises back to your negative thoughts. Go read “Promises” blog for more on speaking back to thoughts. I said all that to say, don’t let your insecurities punk you into becoming someone else. It’s not worth it. Think of it like this: If the recipe your life asks for 3 chunks of watermelon, why in the world would you substitute it with broccoli. Doesn’t make sense right? Exactly. Live life free. Live life uniquely. We need you, we don’t need another them. HOWDY! So we tried something new family! My style of writing is different than others, but
it gets the point across (That's all that really matters). I took a class that challenged me as a writer and it was called creative writing. It made us write short stories, poems, etc. Quite frankly, the way the poems and the short stories came out surprised me. I really like them and I immediately thought of my royal family on here!! I wrote a sonnet and a free verse style poems for you! Below is ,"Beauty for Ashes" & "Mirror Man" both, like I previously said, were written by me. Drop some comments, DM me, give me some feedback! Love you guys immensely! Sonnet – Beauty for Ashes By: Dashaun Archer Days seem to get longer, Esteem going down under. Anxiety getting stronger, Thoughts pounding against my skull like thunder. Joy, happiness, dancing, all were gone, What I once had, I now long for. Am I just a pawn? This, I am still unsure. Tick tock, tick tock Days get longer, month stretch further, months turned to a year. I wonder what is wrong with this heterogeneous clock. It was time to attack what I currently fear No more will I let darkness overtake me I shall live and be everything that I desire to be. Free Verse – Mirror Man By: Dashaun Archer In a room with only me, myself, and Accompanied by a singular mirror About my height, that gave off an old school vibe The mirror was producing a picture of a man that I think I recall. This man appeared fatigue He looked damaged Broken, bruised, scarred What had happened to this man? O broken soul, why do I recognize your presence? For what reason do I not comprehend your external? I questioned for hour upon hours Until the light of knowledge entered into my sight I beseech thee man in the mirror, answer me I plea Are thou not myself? Are those bruises not from rejection? Are those scars not from your past? The acknowledgement of these questions presented an opportunity Knocking on my door was healing I ask myself this question as I stare at the feeble man in the mirror What shall it be? A truthful reality or a deceptive coverup? Alright, now that we got that out the way? What would you guys think of a part two? For the past week and some change, quarantine has really tried different parts of me that I didn’t know I had. Before we start, this is a reminder, whatever I choose to share with you guys is not for sympathy, it is not for someone to feel sorry for me, but it’s to get a message out to someone somewhere that needs to receive it. Now that’s out the way, let’s dive in shall we?
This is week, what feels to be 294 of quarantine and I knew it would happen at some point, but I think I’ve hit my wall. There has been a lot of joking and talking about COVID-19 and everything (I have participated) but nothing is funny to me anymore. I genuinely am sick of the mirror called corona. Did y’all see the word I used? M I R R O R This time of isolation and self quarantine has literally put us in front of a mirror and violently forced us to observed what was staring back at us. This could be dangerous or helpful, depending on what voice you allow to talk to you about what you see. What you hear is a direct correlation to what you hear. With this said, if you allow the unhealed, bitter voice talk to you, you’ll hear things that will destroy your character and your beauty. That voice is the voice you want to silence, hearing those things that make you feel ugly, unloved, desperate, etc; needs to be KILLED. Holy Spirit spoke these words to me and I want to proclaim them over every person who reads this: You are not what you see You are not what you hear You are not what you feel Three life saving concepts that we need to write and engrave on our hearts. My Apostle, Apostle Avery Cotton, equipped me along with his church with being able to keep an “it is written” on our lips. This basically means to talk back to the voice and affirm your own self! There has been times where I wake up and I literally have to tell the voice that tells me, “it’s gonna be a rough day again” to shut up and it’s going to be the best day of my life. You are not crazy for talking back, you are COURAGEOUS! Don’t mix the two. I do believe that everyone should come out of this with a different identity. Oh wow, I just heard this as I’m writing: “It’s time for a name change!” Whew... we will unpack in the next blog! Whew child, let me start off by saying: WHOEVER ATE THAT DARN BAT, YOU AND YOUR MOMMA GOTTA FIGHT ME. There should be no reason on why I should be in the house this long!! BIG RONA, you done put me on the longest punishment ever. Sis said, "go to your room you're grounded till I feel better". - RONA 2020
Anyway, let's get into it. How y'all doing? I'm sure you are bored, in the house, and ready to go out at any given chance like the rest of us. I feel like I am being shut away with the lord! To be completely honest, there is a lot to unpack about quarantine. All I will say is GROW, GROW, GROW, but at your own rate. If you are anywhere on social media, you will see a influx of post from nobody's trying to change their social dynamic to a somebody, telling you what to do. You'll see post like "If you don't come out of this with a side hustle, hobby, new money flowing, then it wasn't lack of time, it was lack of motivation". As this is true, you never want to allow someone or any social pressure to force your growth and push you into a premature birthing. Everything and everyone has a time and place, prepare, but wait for yours! As for those peer and social pressures fam, tell them these simple words: Run your race, know your place. This would be a perfect time to make sure your mental health is in check and your goals are In mind. I would encourage you to NOT LOSE FOCUS, BUT STAY THE COURSE!! There is a lot going on, but that does not mean the world stops. Like I said, grow at your own pace, but make sure growing is in affect. I love you guys, and everything you want is still able to fall into your hands. Just be in position to catch it, when it drops! On another note, I started the podcast! I have been talking about starting this for awhile, but I finally realized enough talking and time to do! The Peculiar Post Podcast started on Wednesday, April 15th with the first episode of the season, entitled "Save NVU". I am going to try to alternate with a blog one week and a podcast the other, so I am not leaving my readers out. Go ahead and like our page on Facebook at "The Peculiar Post" to keep up with our podcast and blog. You like the new artwork? SN: I would also like to hear from you guys as much as possible. Let me know about things you want to hear about, any topics. OAN: I'm looking for special guest to be on my podcast... All are welcomed :) Social Media: Facebook: - Personal: Latrell Archer - Business: The Peculiar Post Twitter: @ArcherLatrell Instagram: @_iamchosen23 How y'all doing? You hanging in there? Trust me, I know that this quarantine from the corona virus seems like it has stripped you from your freedom and its timeframe is like a continuous wheel, it just keeps going on and on. Luckily, believers I have great news! We know that bible gives us strong words of covenant and promise that should reassure us. Read the following scriptures slowly and let them reside in your heart during this time:
- "No weapon formed against you shall prosper,.." (Isaiah 54:17 NKJV) - "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles." (Psalm 34:17) - "And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord, to who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) All three of these scriptures tell you something: that God is very forward about what he will and will not do, how he'll do it, and why he does it. In each of those scriptures, the believer should find comfort in, because God is not a God that can lie. God couldn't lie even if he wanted to, when he speaks a thing it is established in Earth as it is Heaven. Every word whether it be good or bad for an individual or any other noun, it is safe to say that that word is now a promise of some kind . Do your research and study on the 7 promises of God and go back and look at your life, it will bring you into a state of stillness. This stillness would be birthed through the knowledge of He still has yet to fail in your life or in the world. In my time of reflection on what is going on in the world and in my life, I realized that one could become very shaken and moved by it, but we really have to dial in on the promises of God to obtain peace in this hour. There is so much noise going on that it makes it hard for those that hear, hear. When you cannot hear, do as the elder generation would tell us and "stand on your HISTORY with God"! This makes you remember the things He has already done for you from previous made covenants/promises. This boosts your faith and gives you strength to run on! Your spirit knows that God has the ability to do anything, because he did that said situation for you. Great news! He is the same God, today, tomorrow, and forever more (Hebrews 13:8)! To everything there is a path, for every path there was a trailblazer. For the next couple of moments, I will challenge your very intellect on what and how things are, how you got there, and who to thank. You ready? No, you aren’t, but let’s do it anyway fam.
Whether you are a high school graduate, a drop out, a nurse, teacher, preacher, pastor, or all of the above, you are able to say that you indeed are a “trailblazer”. If you never have heard that word before you may be a little confused on what I just said. Maybe even in some cases, you’ve heard the word, but haven’t really looked at it in its entirety. Trailblazer is a noun, which if you have any type of schooling of minimum 3rd grade, you know that a noun is a “person, place, or thing”. Understanding that checks off at least one of your questions. The “What” of the matter. “Who” is a trailblazer? By definition, it is anyone who, “ blazes a trail to guide others”. Reading that can/may bring a couple of people in your life to mind. Your mother, your father, pastor, mentor, or all of the above had to pave a road for you. Their process birthed the beginning of yours, and someone else birthed theirs before you. For example, my mother did not become the woman she is on her own. Her mother, who was taught by her mother, picked up tricks and lessons to make her time in motherhood easier. Her teaching lighten up the weight of adulting, parenting, and overall life. Even though, most times, it still is hard. The art of trailblazing is very beautiful. It is something very special to see when you can give instructions to someone out of experience, so that they dodge what you were hit by. Art is very expressive and unlimited, whether it be a painting or verbal instructions vividly painting a mental picture. There’s an art to everything, but one I hold dear to my heart is the art of trailblazing.Trailblazers are not in your life to do work for you, but they are to give you instruction to how to navigate through what you are trying to do. They’ve been there, done that and can share knowledge through experience. That’s cool and all, but there are things you have to get on your own. That is why in the Bible, Jesus taught the disciples and left them to do their own work after awhile. He blazed the trail and gave them a jump start. Another examples is Timothy and Paul. Timothy in the Bible was Paul’s mentor and some call spiritual father. Timothy has been found multiple times giving deliberate instructions to Paul. He was trying to make sure he passed down the knowledge he had, so that Paul did not experience what Timothy had to. Instructions from mentors or those who can be considered a “trailblazer” in your life is to save you from the agony and pain, they’ve experienced. The intention of this piece, was to show you the importance of the ones before you. Many generations forget and do not properly honor those who set the trail ablaze. There is an ART to it all, and it should continue for generations and the generations to come! What's Under the Mask?
What’s Under the Mask? Battling yourself is one of the hardest fights you'll ever fight. Being in a ring where it's just you and your potential, it's tough. Especially when your current situation is not where you wanna be in the end destination. It's an unfair fight. While fighting one on one(at least you think) you are getting punches from uninvited guest. Emotions, hormones, people's opinions, etc. Fighting all these things in the wrong mindset and training can have you KO'd before you can even have the chance to throw a punch. In this case, you gotta address something that most of us do not want to acknowledge. YOU ARE REPRESSED! A lot of you read that statement, and continued reading like I wasn't aiming at your head when I said what I said. I forgot, you have it all together, you're the perfect human being that is basically an angel, dare I say God. Right? That's cool, however comma, if you think that the implementation of perfection is applied to you, you're wrong. Here's why: Repressed: (adjective) characterized by or showing the suppression of impulses or emotions Lottie, Dottie, and everybody can/should be able to identify something in their life that could be acquainted with the definition. Most of us can say it's a characteristic about ourselves that we are unsure about how other people would react to it. In some cases, we have shown other people this trait and was ashamed when it wasn't accepted. Now, I cannot tell you what your "it" is, but we both know it exist. Whether you are public about it or not is completely up to you. For some, sexuality, for other it could be beliefs/morals. There is a variety of things it could be. It varies from person to person and should be brought to the spotlight. Before I get into anything with a suggested solution let me help some of you out. I literally cannot stress this enough... YOU ARE PHENOMENAL WHEN YOU ARE YOU, YOU'RE ONLY AVERAGE WHEN YOU TRY TO BE ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF! The you we see, nine times out of ten is not the same as the you behind the mask you live in. Shamefulness. Condemnation. Guilt. Regret. Embarrassment. Hurt. For me, I know what my "it" is. Well, for me, I am one of A LOT that can say we have multiple "its". Yes, plural. One of the things I have realized about myself is that I hide who I am, because I'm scared of others opinions, I put on a mask over who I really am. This is because it forces me out of my mask and makes me uncomfortable. I will be the first to admit: I am repressed. I want to be free now. I have got work to do, people to help. I believe the first major step of coming out of repression is to stop suppressing who you really are. Saying this leads me to the question we have all probably asked ourselves at least once in our lives... WHO AM I? Dashaun. Latrell. Archer. Someone who has kept a mask on. Time and time again pretending he's okay with what is going on around him, simply to make sure no one gets mad. Dashaun, the people pleaser. Dashaun is someone who is very emotional. I give my last even when I know I need it. I'm extremely insecure. I don't like my body mass. I don't like my laugh. My voice I think isn't deep enough to social "norms". I tend to talk about my feelings, but I like to keep things to myself. Why? I have trust issues. I love being one someone's priorities, but I will NOT force myself on to anyone. I'm a writer, clearly, but that's because I communicate better through my written words. If I tried to talk my feelings out, I probably would cry before I even started saying anything, Saying this, Dashaun Archer is a crier. I will cry in a pen drop. I love people, but can't stand people. You know what I mean, I love my friends, but I have a "people meter" that once it's full I have to get a break from people for at least 12 hours. Overall, there is more to me that meets the eye and even more to what I just shared with you. I could go on about who I am a long time, as I am sure some of you could if we gave you a chance. I'm receiving my deliverance from repression publicly. You do not have to do the same, if you are not comfortable. If you would prefer, I suggest getting a group of friends or even a best-friend, and talk. Talk about any and everything of who YOU are. Take that muzzle off, take that mask off, and show them who they've been dying to meet. Let them in even when it starts to get hard, and don't look back! Maintain your healing! The world is waiting for you and I'm routing for the NEW you! #MaskOff Here on the Peculiar Post, we make sure that we talk about the things no one will talk about. We make sure that we are very transparent for we are firm believers that the more you confess a thing, a more you are freed from its bondage. The goal for some, if not every blog, is to show our followers that it is okay with being honest with ourselves. It is okay to be transparent, see through, and VULNERABLE.
Vulnerability- capable of being physically or emotionally wounded open to attack or damage from a thing Being vulnerable isn’t always easy. It can mean be open to being hurt, and most of the time it does. Especially, when you are not only vulnerable with yourself, but with other people as well. Being vulnerable with someone is putting your heart into someone else’s hands and saying “I give you permission to hurt me, but I’m trusting you not to”. People can take advantage of your openness and use it as a form of sabotage. We don’t like to be vulnerable, because it makes us feel weak. It makes us feel like we are too open. Too available. Today’s society has created a false sense and understanding on what “weakness” really is and what should be considered weak. But that is another conversation for another day. My first real experience about being vulnerable was with my best-friend. I’ve had other friends in the past, but they haven’t stuck around through me moving a lot and simply me out growing them(or vice versa). This friendship is cultivated and developed through transparency, openness, and vulnerability. Men especially don’t like to be open all the time, especially with other men. With us, it was and sometimes still is uncomfortable, but we trust each other enough where we know it has to be done with someone. Meaning, someone has to be able to be transparent with SOMEONE in their life. It’s not good to hold everything in. Our level of transparency in a male friendship is uncommon, but I feel as if we had more of it, there would be less violence. Violence is just a build up of emotions and someone finding a way to release it. Whether it be a positive way or not. I am learning daily that my vulnerability has been in a handicap state. Why? I have had my share of disappointments, shame, and weary days. I’m human and yes, this is normal to have good days and bad days, but it is not okay to shut down. I react, move, and love out of a hurt place. I have allowed my hurt to influence my way of life. Is this a good thing? NO. I have acknowledge that and understand that something needs to change, sooner than later, there will be a post on this matter. Although this is not a good thing, I have navigated my hurt to love very hard on people who remind me of me in any way. Being someone who is not always accepted and liked by the majority of the crowd, I see other people who are not as well. I can see past the overly nice gestures that act as secret desperation for companionship. I see other people who are smiling and tell their friends, “oh, that’s okay”, even though their heart has been shredded to pieces. I see other people who just want to be understood and loved for who they are with NO strings attached. I’ve been there, I understand. The pain of being rejected and handling indifferences can take a toll on you and people react differently. As I stated before, I love hard. It is a positive and negative attribute that I have come to embrace either way. I have learned that hard lovers, such as myself, are our toughest critics. Meaning, if someone does not implicate and duplicate the love and attention we give them, we tend to beat up ourselves mentally. I cannot speak for anyone in particular, but as for me, I know that I will think myself into a depressed state. During this state, I always tell myself that I should have never even wasted my time. “You did it again” “They clearly were just using you” “You’re so emotional, that’s why people push you away” “They never loved you” The things I say are normally not true. They are false situations and scenarios that I make worse than they actually are in my head. One place that a hard lover should not be BY THEMSELVES in their own head with their thoughts. Because we have been hurt and because we feel like we have been mistreated and walked over we live and move in a place of “it will happen again”. We have cycles of loving very hard and shutting down. Loving hard, and shutting down. This cycle is on repeat. It is sometimes draining, but most of the time we fail to realize people need our type of love. This next grouping of words is my personal letter to the “hard lover”, I wrote it roughly around 2 years ago. I have made some changes and additions to it. Hopefully, this helped someone. Hopefully this letter will encourage someone. With this said, enjoy the letter, and we will be back with another post very soon! Stay tuned! _________________________________________________________ Dear Hard Lover, I know it’s hard and you don’t understand why people don’t understand you. I know it may get annoying for people not to give you what you pour out. I’m very much aware that you love so hard for others and it seems like no one loves you the same way back. Breathe, take a break, recharge. “Hard Lovers” carry a different type of love, loyalty, and honor for people in their lives and it’s a blessing and a curse. This type of love is very rare, very profound, and VERY NEEDED. I have had multiple times where my mind goes into a depressive state, because I think someone doesn’t like me or someone treats me like gum on the bottom of their shoe, but I was wrong. Beloved, you have to understand that everyone doesn’t have the capability to love like you do. You have to realize that what you give you may not get back from that person. Understand, that you have to begin to come into oneness with the suggestion of : “’Stop expecting YOU from people”. Today’s generation just doesn’t know how to love the RIGHT WAY, but it is only because no one taught them how to. Because there is a right way, whether we acknowledge it or not. If they do know how to love, they only use their knowledge on someone that is benefiting them in anyway. The ones who know how to love, only love people close to them instead of spreading the love around. Love is seeing the flaws in other people and giving them what they need to accept their flaws as well as better themselves. Loving is knowing they cannot do anything for you, but you stay with them anyway. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is efficient. There are things you must understand if you are going to continue being a purified love carrier. It is a process, I know. It’s going to be hard. Do not think yourself out of your heart that God gave you. God has given you that heart, you are special, and chosen to beam off His love. Be not weary do to unmet expectations. A piece of advice that will take you very far in life and keep you from heart break fam: Love hard while expecting nothing. Signed w/ LOVE, |
Photo used under Creative Commons from lumanicious